Free advice to job applicants

In no particular order:

1. Do not write stuff in your resume which you’ve “forgotten because it was a long time ago.”

2. Do not expect me to follow the format which some bozo has taught you.

For example, I will not ask you to tell me about yourself to make you comfortable as I have no interest in either you or your comfort.

3. Do not tell me that you chose EE/CS/whatever because you were “always interested in it.” I’m interested in movies, but I’m not an actor. Convince me why you chose your major or find the exit door. Some of you will need help with that as well.

4. Do not tell me about your awesome dancing skills. If and when I need something which dances, I’d rather get a bear.

5. When I ask you to write a C macro, please write a C macro. Starting with main() does not bode well for the rest of the interview.

6. If you ask me about how many months of training we provide, I will ask you what you did for four years in college.

7. I will ask you to write code, and it will be syntactically correct. No handwaving and blathering about generic pseudo code. I might have asked for pseudo code for something complicated. Pay attention.

8. Switch off your stupidphone when you get to my office. On time. And keep your stupidphone switched off.

9. If I ask you to rate yourself on something, be realistic. Claiming that you’re 9/10 or better in C++ (and 6/10 in C at the same time) is just asking for trouble.

10. When I called you on the phone, and asked you if you had any questions, do not waste that opportunity. I will not take kindly to silly questions, especially on email, which you could and should have asked at the right time.

11. Do not invite your friends to your interview. I called you for an interview, not a party.

12. You do not get to change the interview schedule just because you happen to be in the neighbourhood at a different time.

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